Day 2: Fundraising

Since the Secret Service security detail failed to show up, the Angry Czeck was forced to drive un-escorted to his first fundraising stop: Angry Mom and Dad's.

"I'm running for President!" I announced.

"Of what?" asked Angry Mom, suspiciously.

"President of the United States, Mom," I explained patiently. "I'm going to get this country back on track."

"Terrific. What do you want from us?"

"Your vote!"

(Awkward silence.)

"And a campaign contribution!"

(More awkward silence.)

I decided to double my efforts. "Listen, what are you? In your 50s? So I know you're not exactly thinking about the future. But what about my future? Do you really want my future determined by the current line-up of Washington bozos?"

Angry Dad reached into his back pocket. "So how much money do you need, son?"

"From you? About fifty grand."

Angry Dad removed his hand from his pocket.

"What's your platform?" asked Mom, looking to see what was showing on the Home Improvement Network.

"For starters, I'm socializing healthcare!"

As I pulled the Anger Mobile out of the driveway, the Angry Czeck reflected upon the failures of that moment and wondered if he might have more profitable visits with more distant relatives.



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